i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize