i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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