i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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