How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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