Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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