Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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