we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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