K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
