If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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