So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize