i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
well you can't waste a boner
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
