Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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