In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
