your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
