God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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