Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
