My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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