her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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