Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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