i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
