you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize