lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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