apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize