Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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