is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
