SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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