I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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