I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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