so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
