...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize