just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize