Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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