i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
