I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
