After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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