she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
