been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
