Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
