No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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