Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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