UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
