Will you blow on my dice?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
