Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
