Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
