Your dad touched me again.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
