Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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