is wine microwaveable?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
why is half of my head shaved?
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