Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize