I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
