Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I would ride that face into the sunset
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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