I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
