You made me cry and you don't even care
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
