the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
