Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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