when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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