I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
