I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
